All the Love in the World
by rhygell
Summary: The evil had passed, at least temporarily, over Hogwarts. Will it leave two innocent souls untarnished by harsh reality? (Slash)


All the Love in the World

I'm not looking for someone to talk to  
I have my friends, I'm more than okay  
I have more than a girl could have wished for  
I live my dreams, but its not all, they say 

Fame. Fortune. A name. I have it all, I know. Friends ... people who love me ... they could never take the place of a family, with my parents, of course, but being with them fulfilled a certain kind of need. The Dursleys haven't been a burden as long as I've had my friends. But even friends, or even a complete family I have always longed for could, wouldn't suffice. 

Reputation. Riches. Power. Prided, unblemished family name. I have everything I ever would want, and I should considered myself lucky. Enemies ... of course they would be present ... as well as 'would be' friends. But I am not fooled so easily. Even though masking myself in the eyes of the world, I remain unscathed and unruffled, I know that inside, I am being torn apart. So cold ... no one ever does understands. 

Still I believe I'm missing something real  
I need someone who really sees me

I would be lying if I'll say that I can live without my friends. Hell, I don't know where I'd have ended up without them by my side. But I'll be deceiving myself, too, if I say that they are the only people I'll ever need. 

I am masked by aloofness and cynicism. I am untouchable, always some distance away, to my so-called friends, to my family, to anybody. Only fear grips at my heart ... distrust ... and undiluted deluge of loneliness everytime ... 

Don't want to wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
All I need is to know it's for sure  
Then I'll give all the love in the world

I don't wan't to lose. I don't want to hope ... just for nothing. I just want ... _anyone_ who'd see me from what I am, a desolated young man, not The Boy Who Lived. Because, ironically, I didn't live. Loneliness flays me alive, leaves me as nothing. 

Better I'll just die. I just can't continue on living a lie like this. That I am strong, I can face anything. That for a simple matter that I can't; I don't. Fruitless was everything when I know that after all the pain and hardships, bitter rue and disappointment was the harsh slap for me. And the sad truth is that, I know and I can't do anything but just to swallow this bitter pill called 'lie'. 

I've often wondered if love's an illusion  
To get you through the loneliest days  
I can't critisize if I have no hesitations  
My imagination just stole me away

Pervert. That was what had always wound itself on my brain, everytime that I think of him, even considering the delusion that he would be happy, that I _could_ make him happy. I couldn't, and I see that. Now, I seriously doubt that I can find love, the true one, on anybody else. It had hurt, it did, the realisation did, that no one _right_ have I considered in loving, than ... him. 

Not that I've never loved before. Ironically, I _am_ in love right now. But I know better than to push my luck, let down my defences. My solution had always been cruel, to both of us, a retort here, a snide remark there, complete with the patented smirk. All because I can't face reality that _he_ will never belong to me in a way I want him to. Not that it was my sole intention to be his master, but to know, to some extent, that I would find some comfort in being faithfully _mine_. Or possessively his. 

Still I believe I'm missing something real  
I need someone who really sees me

However hard I try, I couldn't summon the image of being in soemone else's arms than his. And as I hold back torrents of memories, of the pain, of him just at a distance, for they knew that they couldn't bring themselves to be too close for comfort. 

I have to have someone to fill the gaping void that was my heart, brimming with hate and indifference that had been swallowing me whole, overwhelming me in its darkness, in its nothingness. Nothingness ... I am becoming a part of it day by day. 

Don't want to wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
All I need is to know it's for sure  
Then I'll give all the love in the world

I am a coward. Whatever they say, they wouldn't know the unceasing battle I've been fighting for so long. False hope. I am not sure of anything and that scares me. I am hurting myself and most specially, him. And I'm doing nothing. Why? Because I'm goddamned scared, that's why. That I could never discover solace in anyone. 

Sometimes, my hallucinations are all that sustains me. And while they fester on my mind, I know the bitter truth; they don't last. The world is unyielding, and it's just toying with me for a while.For the sheer fun of it. Why? They just do. Cruel injustice is just _so_ sweet at times. I just wonder to when would I see it as is. 

Love's in a lifetime, not for a moment  
So how could I throw it away?  
I'm only human, and nights grow colder  
With no one to love me that way  
Oh, I need someone who really sees me ...

I may have twarthed Lord Voldemort's plans. I may have escaped his clutches and that made me special. But being special doesn't mean that I'm immortal. After all, I am just an ordinary human, wanting to love ... and be loved in return. But all in vain. The one I had hoped ... No. Never. Not a slightest chance. Even if I may find another, he is different. He is the only one that I want. 

Nothing matters anymore. Not if I can't be with him. He is my precious. Love ... what was it for if not for him? What is its meaning if it is something not to be shared, denied to me? Evil is enveloping, warm to me, but I would _not_ succumb. All was for his sake. Even if promises of the black emptiness is more adept in accepting me in _that_ way than he would. 

And I won't wake up alone anymore  
Still believing you'll walk through my door  
You'll reach for me and I'll know its for sure  
And I'll give all the love in the world

Could it be ... ? Please tell it so ... You are the only one that I'll need to get through the despair. I love you ... Draco. 

Harry Potter ... I have always cared for you, under the guise of insults, cloaked in spite. Now, in the confines of my weeping soul, I am free from the world, they could choose to hear me or not. All that matters, is that I love you. Nothing will change that. 

* * *

Harry Potter woke up to find himself in the hospital wing. He is sporting a few minor remnants of what had been deep gashes hours ago. His mind felt cramped and he winced as he sat up too quickly, result of not having worn his glasses. He put them on and glanced at his left side. 

There, sobbing quietly as possible, sat Draco Malfoy. 

He looked so forlorn, curled up in a ball, arms wrapped around himself, and Harry's heart lurched and seethed in seeing his love so anguished as so. 

Gingerly, he got to his feet and padded over to where Draco was, not caring if he would turn him away, needing the assurance that Draco was okay more than he had thought. 

"It will be fine," Harry whispered, putting a tentative arm around the young man's shoulders. "All will be fine. Hush now." His voice crackled with emotion. 

He turned to Harry, surprised at his touch. There was a play of emotions on his face and he didn't bear it, he simply couldn't, not after what had happened tonight. He turned, weeping, hugging Harry, as if his life depended on it. And it does. 

"Harry ..." his own words seemed to choke him. He couldn't face Harry, not now. 

"Harry, please ... just hold me ... like this." 

He was a bit taken aback, but did not let this show, afraid that Draco would take back what he said. He nodded numbly, pulling him closer, his need to be comforted being pacified as well, somewhat, having Draco in his arms. 

It took a while before Draco had stopped crying. He was exhausted; weeping had left him drained. He nestled comfortably in Harry's arms, grateful for his embrace and soothing words. Draco didn't know how much time had passed, nor did it matter. All that he wants to acknowledge was being held like this by _the_ person ... _that_ person ... 

He turned to gaze at Harry's moist beryl eyes, tear-stained silver meeting emerald in a fleeting moment. No words to be exchange, the movement have been mutual, as they closed the remaining distance, Harry's lips connected with Draco's. 

The kiss was something they both wanted to replay a million times over. The gentle manner that their tongues played, the tender movements of their mouths moving in sync ... the igniting passion and fervor that they have for one another warming each others' freezing soul. Deepening the kiss, they allowed each other to lose themselves over the love they felt. 

They drew back, almost hesitant, dreading revulsion, disgust, especially regret and rejection. Finding none but sincere emotions, they smiled at each other. 

"Thanks for giving me a chance." Draco's eyes shimmered with almost unbearable emotions, that it slightly hurt Harry to stare at them. 

"I love you, Harry." 

He swallowed, the lump in his throat forgotten, gone. 

"I love you, Draco. For always. With all my life." 

Such warmth ... such feelings they had only hoped before ... 

They only held each other tighter, blissful and finally _complete_ as they had discovered themselves in each other's hearts. 

* * *

Owari! 4:25 AM 12/24/2001

Long live Harry and Draco! We love HP! We love Dan and Tom! 


End file.
